Let’s talk about…Mark Driscoll and women (part 1 of ?)

In 2014, as things were crumbling down around him, Mark Driscoll shot to international attention when it came out that he had referred to women as “penis homes” back in 2001 (1). However, that was not the first or the last time Mark has said disparaging things about women.

    • On September 11, 2016, Mark  said during a sermon on the book of Ruth:  “If you’re frustrated with your wife, let me tell you this: she is a garden with a gardener.” (2)
    • In 2007, Mark told an Edinburgh, Scotland, audience, the following in a sermon:

She [the wife] says, “I’ve never performed oral sex on my husband. I’ve refused to.” I said, “You need to go home and tell your husband that you’ve met Jesus and you’ve been studying the Bible, and that you’re convicted of a terrible sin in your life. And then you need to drop his trousers, and you need to serve your husband. And when he asks why, say, ‘Because I’m a repentant woman. God has changed my heart and I’m supposed to be a biblical wife.’” She says, “Really?” I said, “Yeah. First Peter 3 says if your husband is an unbeliever to serve him with deeds of kindness.” [Laughter from audience] How many men would agree, that is a deed of kindness. He doesn’t want tracts. Those won’t do anything. What we’re talking about here could really help. (3)

  • Mark wrote in Real Marriage how he saw his wife, Grace sinning sexually in a vision:

My previously free and fun girlfriend was suddenly my frigid and fearful wife. She did not undress in front of me, required the lights to be off on the rare occasions we were intimate, checked out during sex, and experienced a lot of physical discomfort because she was tense… One night, as we approached the birth of our first child, Ashley, and the launch of our church, I had a dream in which I saw some things that shook me to my core. I saw in painful detail Grace sinning sexually during a senior trip she took after high school when we had just started dating. It was so clear it was like watching a film — something I cannot really explain but the kind of revelation I sometimes receive. I awoke, threw up, and spent the rest of the night sitting on our couch, praying, hoping it was untrue, and waiting for her to wake up so I could ask her. I asked her if it was true, fearing the answer. Yes, she confessed, it was. Grace started weeping and trying to apologize for lying to me, but I honestly don’t remember the details of the conversation, as I was shell-shocked. Had I known about this sin, I would not have married her. (4)

  • Here’s Mark berating Grace for cutting her hair:

In this season we shifted into ministry-and-family mode, neglecting our intimacy and failing to work through our issues.  This became apparent to me when my pregnant wife came home from a hair appointment with her previously long hair (that I loved) chopped off and replaced with a short, mommish haircut.  She asked what I thought, and could tell from the look on my face.  She had put a mom’s need for convenience before being a wife.  She wept. (5)

If you are considering joining Mark Driscoll’s new “church” plant, go to Google or your favorite search engine and type in Mark Driscoll and women. Read, then ask yourself if you think you should take spiritual and social teaching from a man who would publicly discuss his wife’s sexual life in public, denigrate his wife’s choice to cut her hair publicly, talk about wives giving oral sex to convert their husbands, calling wives gardens, or calling women “penis homes.” I think the answer would have to be, no, this would not be appropriate.

Mark Driscoll is dangerous to a woman’s spiritual, emotional and social health. Stay well away!

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Footnotes

(1) http://www.christianitytoday.com/gleanings/2014/august/mark-driscoll-crude-comments-william-wallace-mars-hill.html?paging=off

(2) From a recording of Driscoll’s Sunday sermon, not yet public.

(3) https://docs.google.com/document/d/13XI1e1zW1–7aX3t8n7uzFr3XylWcGKcEmaeQ7_55nw/edit, from a sermon series called “The Peasant Princess.”, see also http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christianpiatt/2013/04/mark-driscolls-oral-fixation/#ixzz3CqdwyFz0

(4) Driscoll, Mark and Grace. Real Marriage (2012). Quote is from sentences on pages 9-11 of the hardcover edition.

(5) Driscoll, Real Marriage, page 11, hardcover edition.